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University ...

Medicine Exam.

"Tell me about the male genitalia." 'Yes', then, and' consists of a bone .... " "The will 'FEELS, Miss ...."

Consideration of anatomy. "Miss, what 'the body which can' expand by up to 20 times the measurement at rest? ".
The student, all red: "The penis?".
The professor: "No, 'the pupil, however, congratulations to her boyfriend." Consideration of

medicina.Professore: "Miss, the vaginal epithelium and 'ciliate or not?". Student: "Well, yes'."
professor: "Miss, no one has ever said that the train does not go where the grass grows?"

Physical Examination.
It presents the first student. The professor: "You are in a train compartment. It's hot. What are you doing? ". "Well, I open the window." "Bravo! Calculate the entropy change. " "???? I could use any of the information in more '.... " "No". (Pause) "I know." (Pause). "No? (Pause) Okay, go. " It is the first kicked out. Here comes the second, then third, fourth and the professor asks the same question with the same result. Reaches the last student: "You are in train, in a compartment. It's hot. What are you doing? ". "(Sure) I take off my jacket." "Yes, 'Okay', but it's still hot, are you doing?". "I loosen my tie." "But it's still hot. What are you doing? ". "I unbuttoned his shirt." "(Mad) Yes', but it's still a lot hot. What are you doing? ". "Look, sir, can 'do the warm wishes, but that ***** I do not open the window."

Consideration of Latin literature. It presents the old professor a girl peroxide, in miniskirts and cleavage giddy with tricks' that heavy and with a lit cigarette in his mouth. Prof. looks at her impassively, then asks: "Young lady, tell me, what did Aeneas leaving his city 'on fire?". And the girl, languidly, "Well ... I do not know."
And the prof., Handing her the book "Farewell, Troy smoking."

Consideration of History (Faculty 'of Literature): Question on Garibaldi. The teacher asks: "What was the lieutenant of Garibaldi, was always close to General in all the battles?". The student answered promptly: "Nino Biperio. "How?" Asks the professor. The student insisted and finally to prove that he is right takes out of the lecture notes where he wrote: Bi .. X.. I (and in fact reads Bixio!).

An examination of obstetrics professor asks the student: "Tell me how many types of parts you know." The student begins to answer, "normal birth, caesarean birth and birth ... ...." Comes a suggestion from the banks, "analysts." And the student immediately, without thinking, "Anal. The professor does not move, "Very well, and tell me how and when you play." The student explains the dynamics of the first two. In groped to explain the third realizes it was wrong and shut up. Professor: "Okay, tell me at least one case, only one, it appears that you have occurred." The student: 'Yes', now I remember, once, twenty years ago, when did this shit back here! ".

Physical Examination. The teacher to student: "You have a barometer. How do you use to determine the height of a skyscraper? ". The student replied: "I'm on the top floor, tie a string to the barometer, and took him down 'until it touches the ground and then measure the length of the string. " The professor is not 'satisfied' Can 'tell me another method, one that demonstrates his knowledge of physics? ". "Of course! I go to the top floor, I fall down 'the barometer, and measures how quickly touches the ground. " "It 's not even what I wanted, the sorry try again?". "With the pendulum make a barometer as high as the building, then I measure its period." "Another way?". "I measure the length of the barometer, then planted vertically on the ground in a sunny day and measure its shadow, so I measure the shadow of the skyscraper, and likeness ...." "Again another chance '? ". "I try the door and say, 'Hello, Mr. goalkeeper, the gift this prestigious barometer, if you tell me the height of this building?"'
"Look at me: I too have exams, but you see how quiet they are? ". "What does it matter! She 'Professor! "

School' Law: Review of Code of Civil Procedure. The teacher begins with a question: "So ... I would know to say what 'the" fraud? ".
'fraud and' if she rejects me! "
" Cooome?! What do you mean? ".
"The Fraud is when one takes advantage of the ignorance of others and damaging "

Consideration of chemistry at the University 'of London: Professor:" Calcium carbonate is soluble in water? ". Student (complacency): "Yes." Professor: "Then you come back when the Old Bridge will be dissolved."

Consideration of anatomy, scene changes on the female genital organs. The professor, sadistically, he says with disdain to the student: "Look, I give you 20,000 pounds, she should be late this evening in the harbor area and see 'how many young ladies willing to explain these things ..." The student collects (in every sense) and returns following the call. Conquered soffertissimo statino 18 and signed the student put 10 bags in hand incredulous professor, commenting: "His wife gets less."

Consideration of Hydraulics at the University 'of Genoa. It's up to a beautiful young student, who is called by the professor on the board. He gives her 'a piece of chalk in hand, then says: "Well, young lady, then, let' ... Well, yes', give me a pump." (It seems that exploded in the classroom is almost a minute of applause and cries of various clock).

Review of Physics at the University ': the teacher throws a bunch of keys to the student and asks, "What kind motion? this? ". The student raised the keys to the professor and says, "Same as this."


Consideration of physics at the University ': Professor: I do the Carnot cycle. Student: (draws a circle on the sheet). Professor: "Hmmm ... well ... I do another neighbor." Student: (draw another circle beside the first). Professor: "Well ... Join the centers of the two cycles with a straight line." Student: (draw a straight line). Professor: "Very good! Now take your cycle and Carnot and go away. "

University Examinations': a student of Mathematics, son of a professor, should support consideration of Physics with a colleague of his father. The outcome seems almost obvious, but the young man does not know a deserving club. One question after another, noting his incredible fool in the presence of witnesses, the professor does not know what to do to give that promise promotion. At the end resorts to questions from eighth grade to at least give the boy answered: "Then let's consider an axis and a poggiamolo ...?". Student: "...." Professor: "... focus, of course. So we? a ...? ". Student: "...." Professor: "... leverage, as you know. So, if I put a load on one end Lever, what happened? ". Student (now Scazzi treatment from that blatantly favor): "... I put the Trump." Professor: "BUT THEN I WILL mouth!". And the student: "Vabbeh, then I'll go smoothly."


An economics professor once asked how many columns there were in the porch of the university, and hunting? the student who obviously had no answer, saying: "I see that you do not attend college, come back the next session." Someone who had to be considered immediately after then rushed off to count the columns, when it was his turn and asked the fatal question was answered with certainty how many columns there. The professor then said, "And she spends her time studying instead of hanging out for the university to count the columns? Turning to the next session. "

The professor likes to embarrass the students, and begins to ask un'esaminanda: "What is that thing that you and I do not ... that you know well and I use no ... from which she derives pleasure and I do not .... " The girl replied, "The Brain".

It tells of a professor with the habit of using a rather vulgar leap in class. One day the girls who followed his course, exasperated, they agreed to quit in the first classroom block word that the professor had given, the boys became aware of it, all relate to the professor. The professor entered the classroom the next day saying: "I saw an elephant out the door with a ***** so long." Immediately, as agreed, the girls got up and made to go to the door, but he stopped saying, "Do not run, is already gone ..."

Consideration of Law at the University ': Professor: "Tell me what is marriage. " Student: "Marriage is a contract ...." Professor: "No". Student: "Marriage is a contract that ... ". Professor: "Nooo!". Student: "Yes professor, marriage is a contract ...." Professor: "NO! Marriage is a contract that ... It takes precision. Turning to the next call. " And the student: "You're not an asshole, you asshole!"

A student takes the test of Private Law in an impeccable way, the professor (most of the fucker right) congratulating her and tells her that her 30 praise is too little, takes off his Rolex and tells her to accept it as a souvenir. She, after long hesitation, is convinced, take the clock and gives the book. At this point the professor said: "Miss, she accepted the donation of a valuable asset not modest: it should know that we need a written contract. Recurrence of the prossimoappello.


Consideration of philosophy. The teacher shows a bunch of keys and asks: "So, young man, show me that this is my ...." The student (taken badly): "Er, yes, so, um ...." Professor: "So what we waiting for?". Student: "I, uh ... well ... Aristotle ...". Professor: "Go away, go back to the next call." Student (gets up and starts to take away the keys): "So long ...." Professor: "But what does it do? Where to go with my keys? ". Student: "Ah, here it is: its proven that they are." Professor: "Promoted."

Professor of Ancient Philosophy asks students to outline their refutations of Zeno's arguments that deny the existence of the movement. The student gets up from his chair, he begins to walk, he stops and says, "Behold, I have refuted Zeno." The professor says: "Well, you continue to refute it." The student starts walking. The professor insists: "I refute the door." The student goes to the door. The professor continued: "Now the confiscation in the corridor." The student goes out into the corridor. To which the teacher yells at him: "There, now go even to refute it at home."

call fake names abound: Efisio Porcu, Gianluigi Cossi, Maria Juana, Vasco Rossi (general laughter), Pippo Baudo (general laughter), Bear, Giovana d'Arc ... To which the teacher stops and exclaims: "Oh no, guys ... Even Joan of Arc, no, please." In a voice that rises to a student: "Present!"


found at:
http://it.netlog.com/_silvietta91_/blog/blogid=4514584